Oh What a Life

Hello

If you are new here. Welcome! If your an old friend, welcome back!! This week I thought I would get a bit deep with you all. As some of you might know I have been in and out of the hospital for the past couple months due to suicide attempts and super bad OCD thoughts. I just got out of SCH a week ago from drinking laundry detergent.

Now this isn’t for attention. This blog has always been a place where I share my emotions and my life with you all and this is my life.  This is also going to be a hugee rant that includes my religious beliefs. So read at your own risk..

I just sit here and question why me. Why me. Why did god make me this way. Why did god make me hate myself. Why can’t I just love. I just want to love myself yet I hate myself. If god loves me than why does he make me hate myself. Im sitting writing this blog post in the middle of my church teen group which I got to emotional to be in so I’m crying in the hallway. Why god. Why did you do this to me. Please just make me better. Let me love. Let me love myself. Let me live. Not just breathe, actully live!! Let me go on late night adventures. Let me go to college. Let me make stupid decisions that I’ll regret. Let me fall in love and have it break me. Let me fall in love and it completes me. Let me LIVE. I want to wake up one day and be happy. I want to wake up and say this is what I want. This is what all these struggles have been for and I’m ok with that. Because I’m finally happy. Because I’m finally living. Because I’m me.
Thanks for listening sorry for the rant😬

Love youuu!

Sarah xxx

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My Christmas Playlist

Hello Lovelies!
Today I thought we’d mix things up a bit and make a different type of post. Maybe even a series if you all enjoy it!? But I thought I would start making a playlist post! I listen to a lot of music and at the moment lost of different types of music.

I am one of those people who gets all my music from other people or from whats popular right now and I would absolutely love to hear from you guys what your ultimate playlist would be!

Today In Seattle its SNOWING!! AHHHH!! That never happens here!  So I thought I would make my ultimate christmas playlist for you all! So enjoy!!

My Ultimate Christmas Playlist

  1. All I Want for Christmas Is You- Mariah Carey
  2. Last Christmas- Wham!
  3. Blue Christmas- Elvis Presley
  4. Baby it’s Cold Outside- Michael Buble and Idina Menzel
  5. Santa Tell Me- Ariana Grande
  6. Jingle Bell Rock- Hall and Oats
  7. Rockin’ Around the Christmas tree- Brenda Lee
  8. You Make it Feel Like Christmas – blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani
  9. Its Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas- Michael Buble
  10. Merry Christmas- NSYNC
  11. Mistletoe- Justin Beiber
  12. Christmas Lights- Coldplay
  13. Let it Snow/Winter Wonderland- The Piano Guys
  14. Love me like you (christmas edition) – Little Mix
  15. Jingle Bells- Michael Buble
  16. Santa baby- Michael Buble
  17. Have Your Self a Merry Little Christmas- Sabrina Carpenter

Well there you have it! Please give me suggestions on what Playlist I should do next in the comments below!

Cheers!!

Sarah xx

Last minute plane rides and babies

Hello lovely people!

I am coming to you from 30,000 feet in the air. Thats right, your girls on a plane. and she’s headed for Boston!! My mum and I decided last minute to take a weekend t6rip to our lovely home state of Massachusetts. We are going to look at a few houses around the city, seeing as were trying to move there. I am currently sat next to the most adorable baby.

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He is so precious and I have cuddled him half this flight. He’s only 10 months old and is a pro at flying! His names Elise ( ALL MY GREYS ANATOMY FANS SAY HALA) and he currently has on the cutest striped onsie I’ve ever seen.

As soon was we land we go straight to the hotel, where we are meeting my moms best friend from college and her daughter, who is like my sister. From there we will go to dinner, probably the moms will go out for a few drinks and then they’re spending the night at the hotel with us! SLUMBER PARTYY!! I’m so pumped.

Well thats all I have for now signing off 🙂

Sarah xxx

Youtube?!

Hello lovlies!

OMG two posts in one day?! What is happening?! Don’t worry I’m not going crazy! I just wanted to let you all know…

I HAVE UPLOADED A YOUTUBE VIDEO!!!

Yes you read that right!! Its the 50 facts about me challenge (even though theres not 50 facts 😉 I hope you will all give me a chance and check it out and give me some feedback on it! Thanks guys. Talk to you soon!

Sarah xx

My Current Favorites

Hello everyone!!

Today I thought I would do something a bit more upbeat. So why not a favorites?! I always enjoy reading or watching peoples monthly favorites. Now I’m not someone who changes my entire morning routine every month or gets a new product every month so these will most likely be every few months. (although I wish I got a new product or item every month!!) so here you go!!

1. Morphe x Jaclyn Hill palette

ok it was recently my birthday and my friends being the greatest people in the world got me this palette! and all I can say is WOW. IM IN LOVE!! It is so pigmented and beautiful and the shadows just glide on. The have a variety of matte and glittery options. I wore a smokey bronze look yesterday and it last all day! I have really oily eyelids so that never happens for! If you’re looking for a new eyeshadow palette you should defiantly check out Morphe. more specifically the Jaclyn Hill palette!

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2. Paisley Boots- TJ X

I got these boots on sale at TJ Maxx (Also known as Tj X). I absolutely fell in love. They are comfiest most amazing boots ever. I wore them for the first time a few days ago and went to a garden and took some pictures. Here are the results… IMG_2706.JPG

Anyhoo! These boots are Life saving!!! You can pair them with almost every outfit trust me you’ll get soo many complements!

 

3. Love and Gelato-

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I have enjoyed reading this book very much!! Its about a girl who’s mother just died of cancer. Her moms dying wish is for her to go live with her college friend in Italy. This “friend” turns out to be her father. So she’s stuck in a new country living with a man she’s never met right after her moms death. She is gifted one of her moms old journals when she lived in a Italy. She finds out all her moms secret spots and the story of her life before. 10/10 would recommend.

4. Benefit Roller Lash Mascara-

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I am in LOVE with this product! it makes my lashes look like fake ones haha!! I got a tester for this product cause my friend, S, suggested it to me. I immediately fell in love. I have naturally really short stubby lashes and this makes it seem like I actually have lashes! It grasps each lash and adds so much volume and length to each individual lash. Defiantly a recommendation from me.

 

5. and finally drum roll please…

LUSH!!!

Yes I have been loving lush recently!

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More specifically their bath bombs. If you don’t know what a bath bomb is its a little ball that you place into your bath and it melts into the water and make it these beautiful colors and smells. My favorite right now has got to be twilightUnknown.jpeg

It make the water this beautiful pink and blue color that faded into a dark purple with specks of glitter floating around. I love it to much. The smell is very floral and I would defiantly recommend this or any lush product. I have many allergies and if you go in there and tell them all your allergies, they’ll point out what you cant and can have. It’s amazing!!

Thats all I have today for you amazing people! Hope you all have a lovely day 🙂

Sarah xxx

 

 

 

 

 

Monsters

“Draw a monster. Now why is it a monster?” Is it the scary teeth and claws, or the size of the monster. My monsters don’t look like normal monsters you see in movies. My monsters are the ghost of the past. What has happened and what could have happened

What if’s are on of my monsters . What if I did something different. What if i didn’t do this or that. What if. Thats the question I ask myself everyday. What if I had just kept my mouth shut. Would I still have these people in my life. Would I be happy? Or would I be dead?

My mind is my biggest monster. If its left alone it just sits and thinks and thinks. It doesn’t ever stop. Everywhere I look I see a missed opportunity. My illness tells me I did everything wrong. but what do I think..

Do you ever just meet those people your drawn too. There’s something about them that pulls you in. Those people are my monsters. The kind you can’t control yourself around. The kind that take over life in the best and worst ways possible. The people who have the most influence on you. Your mind just goes blank and everything they say is right in your mind. I had one of those. and it almost killed me.

Monsters.  They come and go. Some last forever. But you overcome the fear. I’ve learned that I can live and still have some monsters. Monsters are scary but what makes them monsters. What makes them so scary? If you can overcome fear itself you can accomplish anything. So I challenge you. Comment your monsters below and see if you can come up with a way to face your fears. I defiantly have just by letting go of my monster and accepting it..

Love you guys

Sarah xxx

 

Life Update  

Hello lovelies! 

Well what a week it’s been! Well actully a few weeks! In and out of the hostpital is not fun!! Yep you read that right. I was back at Childrens. Yipee. I went back Wednesday and got out Sunday morning. I just needed to be in a a safe place so I didn’t do anything to hurt myself. I’m now out and going to PHP (partial hospitalization program)  I’m actully writing this from the php lobby waiting for my mum to pick me up! Anyhooo! I just wanted to check in with you all and thank you so much for your support. It really does mean the world to me. You have no idea how much it helps me ❤❤ thank you again and hopefully things will be back to normal on here soon!! 

Cheers! 

Sarah xxx