If you are new here. Welcome! If your an old friend, welcome back!! This week I thought I would get a bit deep with you all. As some of you might know I have been in and out of the hospital for the past couple months due to suicide attempts and super bad OCD thoughts. I just got out of SCH a week ago from drinking laundry detergent.
Now this isn’t for attention. This blog has always been a place where I share my emotions and my life with you all and this is my life. This is also going to be a hugee rant that includes my religious beliefs. So read at your own risk..
I just sit here and question why me. Why me. Why did god make me this way. Why did god make me hate myself. Why can’t I just love. I just want to love myself yet I hate myself. If god loves me than why does he make me hate myself. Im sitting writing this blog post in the middle of my church teen group which I got to emotional to be in so I’m crying in the hallway. Why god. Why did you do this to me. Please just make me better. Let me love. Let me love myself. Let me live. Not just breathe, actully live!! Let me go on late night adventures. Let me go to college. Let me make stupid decisions that I’ll regret. Let me fall in love and have it break me. Let me fall in love and it completes me. Let me LIVE. I want to wake up one day and be happy. I want to wake up and say this is what I want. This is what all these struggles have been for and I’m ok with that. Because I’m finally happy. Because I’m finally living. Because I’m me.
Thanks for listening sorry for the rant😬